


who's in charge around here? (she'll want to see you)

by teacuptaako



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Balance Arc, F/F, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:06:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuptaako/pseuds/teacuptaako
Summary: "It's good that worked out for everybody," Taako says, smiling pleasantly, his teeth like tiny knives, "because if it hadn't, I would be forced to dedicate my entire life to hunting down and killing you."Lucretia leans tiredly on her staff. "Sure. Asshole."This is about Lucretia and her family trying to tape each other up again. It's about forgiveness and healing, about romance, and people who want to trust each other.





	who's in charge around here? (she'll want to see you)

**Author's Note:**

> this one goes out to kay!! this went through so many different edits that it's almost unrecognizable from what was promised, but hey, i'm pretty pleased with it.
> 
> spoilers up to the most recent episode, 67.

"It's good that worked out for everybody," Taako says, smiling pleasantly, his teeth like tiny knives, "because if it hadn't, I would be forced to dedicate my entire life to hunting down and killing you."

Lucretia leans tiredly on her staff. "Sure. Asshole." 

Behind them is a tableau of unsatisfying victory. The Bureau of Balance faculty, now obsolete, with the destruction of Hunger and Grand Relics alike, now lies in ruin. Full trees have been ripped out of the ground and hurled into infrastructure, leaving trenches through the muck that used to be grass. Bloodstains, from bodies that are still in the process of being cleared away, stain the mud. Rubble is smattered through the places that used to be full of people bustling back and forth, and all the flowerbeds have been destroyed. One building has been blown fully in half-- one of the many victims of the particular brand of collateral damage that only results from magic. There are a lot of fires, and illusions just now starting to flicker out, and around the edges of the courtyard are the mangled remains of what used to be creature and what used to be human.

From the husk that used to be the main Bureau Office, out walks Lup. Her pants are ripped down one leg and her hair is singed. Her body, made so recently by Garfield, already hurt and bruised. One of her arms is wrapped with what looks like a scrap of what used to Merle's shirt. She's holding Angus' hand, and as he balks at the carnage, she scoops him up into a piggyback. Lucretia and Taako are too far away to hear it, but they can see his mouth open in a startled laugh. 

Lup starts trekking up the hill towards them. Now that Angus can no longer see her face, it looks pinched and exhausted.

"Hello Sir!" Angus pipes, as they get closer, "I didn't see you much in the battle! I was worried something had happened to you? Maybe!" He staggers a little bit as Lup swings him down from her shoulders. Leg wound, probably, although if it were serious somebody would've bandaged it up already, or at least tried to. The Gods still aren't answering anybody's prayers.

"Nah, homeboy. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're basically a low level foot soldier slash grunt, and I was off doing special assault shit with my crew."

"Oh, okay! Don't take this the wrong way, but I did assume that! Sir! It's just that I thought maybe those two things were very possibly mutually compatible!"

Lup cackles, swaggering up to Taako and leaning on his shoulder. They're the same height but he curves his body into hers and tilts their foreheads together. His arm curves around her waist and she grabs his arm on the opposite side, roughly. Taako murmurs something directly into her ear, and Lup shakes her head. Lucretia looks away. 

"Hey!" Someone yells, and everybody turns to see Merle and Barry staggering into the courtyard. Barry's leaning heavily on Merle, limping slightly, and Merle's waving at them, grinning lopsidedly from one side of his mouth.

"Hey!" Lup waves back, and starts down the hill to help Merle. "Buddy, what the hell did you do to my nerd over here?"

"Oh, you know." Merle says, vaguely. "Put a splint on his leg, stopped him from fighting with a concussion. Evil shit like that."

"Bad," Taako admonishes, "Bad Bluejeans." He scoops Angus up onto his back, and Angus squeaks in surprise but grabs quickly with both hands. Taako follows Lup down the hill towards Merle and Barry, and right about the time that the four of them meet, Davenport emerges from behind a huge boulder that'd been thrown through a fountain. He's crying. Everyone sees him at the same time, and stillness settles down on the group. 

"I'm sorry, oh God, I'm so fucking-" Davenport sobs, as he gets closer, "He was-- And it was, we didn't see them--"

"See who?" Raps Barry, "Captain, where's Magnus?" Davenport falls from his feet to his knees, weeping, face buried in his arm, and Barry demands, " _Where's Magnus?_ "

"He threw himself in front of-- And it was so fast, I didn't, I didn't see--" 

"No." Angus says, softly. His hands tightening on Taako's shoulders.

"No," a new voice agrees, and yet again everyone turns, and there's Kravitz stepping neatly out of a black slash in the sky, his scythe in one hand, and in the other hand he's clinging tightly to-- 

"Magnus!" Angus shrieks, "Sir!" 

What's left of the Balance headquarters is crumbling in ruin. A relic in of itself now. The survivors start slowly gathering at the base of the hill, emerging from cracks in buildings and dragging themselves over the rough ground. There's Carey, and Killian, and those people from HR, Brad corralling them together; behind them is Lucas-- Lucretia stops her inventory of people, her people, because she feel someone watching her. When she turns and looks, Taako's staring her down. His grip tight on Angus' legs. His hair, fucked up in the blast that disintegrated his hat. No wand, but looking very much like he's planning to rip through her chest with his long curved hands and pulling out her heart. When he sees her watching he visibly collects himself, and readjusts his weight so he's casually propped back on one leg, instead of braced to fight. 

"You got real close to death there, Ma'am."

She blinks at him. He doesn't seem to understand that he doesn't scare her at all. That if he wanted to kill her, all he'd have to do is ask and she'd let him. Maybe she's been dead for a while now. Maybe this is hell. Maybe she deserves that. They won. Lucretia could die now. They won. Lucretia's been thinking it to herself over and over, ever since Merle blinked back from wherever he goes during Parley, with that hard set in his jaw, and his ground out, " _We just need to mop up the stragglers now._ " 

"Taako." Lucretia says. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, and it's very. Um. Scary. But my plan worked, I think you'll agree, and we're all-- Well, we're not all okay, but we're--" She pushes a wisp of hair behind her ear, and sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm frazzled. I know you don't agree with what I did and I, also, think that what I did wasn't great-- But you have to know, there was no way-- No other way, and if I hadn't tried. If. It was us. What we did was killing us, and I tried-- I did, all that I could--" 

Lup's hand claps Lucretia on the back, and Lup grins at her tiredly. "We did say you could try your shield thing, right? So no sweat." Lucretia wants to lie down and sleep for years. Just hearing that, from Lup, is such a relief-- but they're on a hill, and the Bureau needs her. And Taako's still looking at her like she's a horse with a broken leg. And she can't rest, not now. Lucretia smiles at Lup, and nods at a grim looking Taako, and turns to address her employees. As she raises her hand to signal for their attention they all fall silent, and behind her the frenzy around Magnus lapses into a respectful quiet.

"Everybody!" Lucretia yells, "While there is an understandable level of confusion about what we were fighting and why, and I will of course do my best to provide clarity as well as I can, today we have achieved and fought, and through your valour and effort, we have saved, not just our world, but very likely the known universe.

"I cannot thank you enough. Everybody here played a crucial role, and without even one of you this victory may not have been possible. Obviously our reclaimers, continuously putting their lives on the line to fetch the Grand Relics, deserve a huge portion of the credit. But the flashiest jobs are not the only important ones. Leon, your inventory management kept everything running smoothly and the distribution of items was extremely fair, which in turn, minimized conflict. Angus McDonald, you are truly the best at what you do and without you, this place would be emptier and bereft. Avi, you brightened this place with your experience and jokes and that liquor I don't know about, and your technical experience with transportation was quite valuable to our operation. Everybody in the research department, thank you from the bottom of my heart. More then anyone, I know the Grand Relics could not have been easy to find.

"And, of course, a thanks goes to our Regulators, who eased us into this new chapter of resistance against evil with their strong work ethics and dedication to the cause, and our Seekers, who served as our more-then-capable eyes and ears around the world.

"Which brings me to those of you who showed up last minute. A special thanks to Lucas Millar, Kravitz, Jess the Beheader and her wrestling friends. I'm not sure how you found this place but your help was integral to our success, and to everybody who came from the town of Refuge: you all, I cannot emphasize enough, have saved us.

"To end on a mixed note, we also owe a great debt to those of us who are no longer here. There is loss that is older and loss we have felt more recently, but grief is not something that will stand to be ranked against other grief. Counselling and therapy services will be offered to those of you who wish it. While it feels like pain will be with us forever, I remind you all that so will the memories and love for the departed. A service will be held for the casualties from this final battle, as well as a memorial tribute to Bureau of Balance employees and friends who passed away at any time during their service for the institution.

"At this time I would also like to say a few words about Johann. These words are that there are no words to describe the depth of talent and musical ability that he had, and that while there is only one song of his that any of us can remember, I know that everything he played brimmed with life and that it was a great loss that none of it will be recorded. Johann was not the easiest person to be around, but he was strong. He was dedicated. He was capable. He was my friend and I will miss him.

"Again, I would like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. What we have accomplished today is nothing short of miraculous. You have all been dear to me. You will always be so. Removal of your bracers will begin tomorrow, once we figure out how to do it. At that time you will also receive what compensation I can offer you for your time, although that is not nearly as much as you deserve.

"Goodbye, all."

Lucretia takes a heavy step down the hill, headed towards her office, and initially there is silence. She takes another step, and another. One person claps. She turns, and the person clapping is Barry. Then Davenport joins in, and Magnus, and Merle. Lucretia blinks tears out of her eyes and keeps walking. By the time she has reached the bottom of the hill, she cannot hear over the yells, cheers, applause, and whistling. And she cannot move through all the people hugging her. 

 

 

When everybody packs up and leaves, Lucretia pays the demolition team to destroy what's left of the Balance Headquarters, and then she takes some of her savings and buys a tiny cottage in the middle of the woods somewhere. She has a garden, and a huge library with a window seat right in the spot where she gets the most sun. Her stone of far speech has the contact information for everybody she knows, and for some reason, people want to talk to her. Avi calls once a week and they get to know each other outside of work. Lots of people are saying things like that to her-- they want to know, "who she is when she's not being The Director."

"I don't have any idea," she wants to tell Avi, "I've been doing this for so long that I don't have any room left for things that used to make me happy. I've been alive for so long. But I've been dead for most of that."

What she says is, "I've been learning how to speak Goblin."

Avi laughs. She can imagine him in his own home, where he lives with two of his colleagues from the Bureau, probably on the porch. He's ridiculously proud of his porch, with the farmer-style hammock.

"Don't you already speak eight languages? I mean, go for it! Have you been writing lately?"

"No. All I wrote was paperwork, near the end, and at the start I was just transcribing stories. So I've quite run out of material."

"Not quite," says Avi, "What's happened is that now you have to make it yourself."

Lucretia rolls her eyes, and moves the conversation along. Have you been settling in well? Are your neighbours nice? Avi tells her to stop mothering him, and she tells him to stop being a child, and it's only later-- after he's hung up and Lucretia's afraid to go to sleep because her dreams are always full of Wonderland, of Capt. Captain Brian (who'd she'd liked, once upon a time, wanted to ask him to hold her), of the judges, of her family suffering because she couldn't make good choices-- it's only then that Lucretia sits down at her kitchen table with an empty notebook and a number two pencil. She gets up again and pours herself a glass of chocolate milk. Sits down and gets up to change into a different shirt. Writes the date at the top of the page, and stares at it, before ripping the entire page out and going to bed.

 

 

Lucretia has a revolving door of bad dreams, but there is one that has been visiting her most recently. In it, she and Taako are sitting in an unremarkable room that she imagines vaguely as the Parlay area. The dream is that Lucretia sits across from Taako and they talk to each other. It's always the same conversation.

"You took fucking everything away from me."

"I know." 

"You do?" 

"I guess not. I never had anything." 

"You had us."

"I thought so, but the way you talk about me sometimes--" 

"No, no, bubbleh. You definitely had us! And you even still have most of us."

Always Lucretia thinks that, even in dreams, Taako walks the line between supportive and dismissive, between ribbing and mockery. He's always needling, trying to figure out things about you and what you feel, before you've felt them yourself. Although, in this imagined version of him, Lucretia always finds herself noticing things her subconscious gets wrong. His ears are pointier. His eyes are darker. His voice isn't as shrill. At the point in the dream where Lucretia starts to notice problems, Taako stands up and starts pacing circles around the table. Lucretia always wants to get up too, but this is when she always remembers that she's stuck to the chair and that she's not actually in Parlay, but that Taako's visiting her in prison.

"Are you going to be able to forgive me?"

"I'm not even going to try."

 

 

Merle moves back into his beach house with Mavis and Mookie, where he tells Lucretia they spend most of the time around the ocean. Mavis loves surfing, 'just like her proud Papa,' whereas Mookie has developed a love of swimming out as stealthily and as deep as possible, 'because he wants me to kill him.' Apparently Merle has discovered the joys of the backyard barbecue, and whenever Lucretia visits he makes her some variation of grilled meat.

He prays to Pan before every meal, although he still can't use his magic. Despite the fact that Lucretia took down her shield and the Gods should be able to make contact, and if they haven't it isn't because of her, Merle's prayers always make Lucretia feel guilty. Merle has this weird talent of always saying the wrong thing. The wrong things because it’s what you’re thinking, but it's not something that you'd expect anyone else to know, and that you wouldn't want them to bring up. His prayers are always too honest. 

One time that she visits, Mavis makes Lucretia a flower crown out of--

"The petunias I've been growing in the windowsill! You little shit!"

"They were dying! You never water them!"

"I could be watering them when you're not looking!"

"But you're not! And Lucretia's pretty, and the flowers are pretty--"

Lucretia smiles and puts the ring carefully on her head. It's a little bit too small, so she has to balance it on her head at just the right spot, crane her neck at just the right angle, to hold it up. It doesn't smell very good and it isn't super well constructed, but she wears it until it falls apart, and then she presses one of the blooms between the pages of her elvish dictionary.

It's nice to rediscover Merle as a friend. He's funny and brash, and unconventionally noble. He tells Lucretia about learning how to be a good dad. Lucretia is proudly shown the latest in macaroni art, pinned to his fridge, and subjected to his awful cooking that his kids never fail to complain about. Their house is loud and noisy. The ocean can be heard wherever you are in it, and the guest bedroom has a smattering of sand along the floor that must've blown in through an open window.

Merle tells her, "Thanks for this. Thanks for giving me this." Lucretia opens her mouth, and he talks over her. "And don't feel bad. Everything you took away, you gave back again!"

 

Magnus buys another house in Raven's Roost, gets back in contact with people he knew there, but then he ends up moving away again. He tells Lucretia it's because there are too many ghosts walking the streets with him. He builds his own place, a nice little bungalow just outside of Neverwinter, with enough space for himself and Angus. Angus, upon being asked, shyly, if he wanted to live with Magnus, only hesitates a second-- waiting for a nod from Lucretia-- before he hurls himself at Magnus to be swung around, squeaking, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" 

They travel into Neverwinter all the time. Magnus opened a carpentry practice, the top floor of which he converted into an office for Angus to do detective stuff. In his spare time, Magnus starts coaching a sports team. He seems unclear on what sport they do, but apparently they're flourishing under his care.

Lucretia’s invited to a game, and she stakes out a good spot midfield with Angus, who has been to so many of these things that he's brought with him the most recent Caleb Cleveland novel. He barely looks up when the ball (Puck? Lucretia thought it would be obvious what the sport was when she saw it in action, but none of the players seem to know what's happening either.) is kicked almost an inch over his head. Lucretia's heart stops in her chest, and before she's even aware what's happening, she's transformed into a soccer mom.

"Are you trying to _kill_ my _boy_?!" She demands, staring down the idiot on the opposite team who's never heard of the concept of aims and restraint. Magnus hears the commotion and heads over. Angus, who seems to be trying to hide behind his novel for some reason, groans loudly.

"Not _again_! I though you'd be better then he is!"

"What?" Lucretia asks, and then as Magnus gets close, "Where's the ref? This child could've hurt Angus."

Fifteen minutes later, when Lucretia and Magnus are gently but firmly told to calm down and Mr. Burnsides Sir you really have to stop interrupting the game when the football is kicked in even the general direction of your son, Lucretia is even more worked up and Angus is even brighter pink.

"He's my younger brother!" Magnus yells after the ref, "And you know nothing about childcare!"

Whatever the sport was, the other team wins it. Magnus herds his gaggle of kids in front of him, and his speech about how they're amazing and the ref was clearly _blind_ , because that move you did Jack where you did a double cartwheel and switched out the birdie with a live pigeon was amazing and worth twenty points At Least but anyway they're a group of cheaters and I'm proud of the work you did here today, is so enthusiastic that Lucretia's grinning ear to ear when she offers to get everybody frozen yogurt.

 

 

Barry, Lup, and Davenport, all get jobs working in Lucas Miller's lab. Barry tells Lucretia delightedly about being able to get close to the stars again, about what in the science is the same and what's different, how the numbers on their papers are this tantalizing promise of what's new to this world, but at the same time a nostalgic memory of what they've already seen.

Davenport describes it as, "Watching an episode of a show I used to love, and not knowing how it ends, but as the story unfolds, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I remember that part."

Whenever Lucretia visits the lab, Lup is there. It's like she never leaves. There's always graphite smudges down her arms and on her face, with sleep bags under her eyes, always looking a little too wispy for Lucretia's comfort, but also brimming with joy and the pleasure of discovery. 

Lucretia brings everybody food when she drops by, and she donates some of her early journals, where she'd described details of the Starblaster. Nothing like schematics, but musings on the noises the engines made, complaints about the low ceilings that only Davenport and Merle could navigate without watching out for their heads.

"Our work would go faster if you hadn't--" Barry starts, and then cuts himself off. It's late, the lab lit only by a single light, with the long and eerie shadows cast by the bizarre instruments on the long tables tricking the corner of Lucretia's eyes into inventing monsters.

"Don't." Davenport orders, but it comes out weak. 

"If I hadn't destroyed the Starblaster?" Lucretia says, calmly. She'd known they'd get here eventually and she doesn't bother looking up from her journal. "Yes, I'm sure that would have sped up this process exponentially. But, as I have explained to you, many times, if the Starblaster remained in tact, Davenport would've abandoned this world to create a new cycle, rendering all my work useless and killing everyone in this entire plane of existence." 

She flips a page. There's a long silence, and then the journal is ripped out of her hand and Barry's standing above her, glowering. His jaw works furiously, hand clenching, and then he throws the journal back into her chest before stalking away into the next room. 

Lucretia takes the journal back and closes her eyes. She takes a few deep breaths and then opens them again. Davenport's watching her. His eyes are shadowed. 

"Am I wrong?" She asks.

Davenport sighs. "No. It would've been the best plan of action. Clean slate. We would have our memories back. I wouldn't be a vegetable. Lup and Barry would have their bodies. You would be pre-Wonderland again. And beyond that, there would be a chance to make something better. Pick a more strategic position."

"That would be a disservice to Magnus' wife, to Merle's kids, to Cam who got me through Wonderland, to the Bureau who dedicated their lives to saving this world--"

"Magnus's _dead_ wife. Merle's kids, from two different women _._ Cam who you offered up like a sacrificial _lamb_."

Lucretia wants to-- she doesn't even know-- but before she can move, there's a loud ringing crack. Lup's slapped Davenport across the cheek so hard that it's left a dark red mark. She's visibly trembling with fury, baring her teeth and eyes slanted mockingly down at him. 

"Fuck you," Lup says, "You promised me to not sacrifice another world, and not following though is another thing from the point, but-- And Julia, you don't get to talk, you don't get to fucking-- The way he talks about her is like she, like she's the sun and he's a sunflower, and Merle would die for Mavis and Mookie, you _asshole_!"

Davenport blinks at her, stunned. Almost absentmindedly he reaches up a hand to cup his cheek. Lucretia gets to her feet and starts to approach Lup, whose shoulders are starting to shake a little bit. 

"Just because your, your whole life was the mission, doesn't mean, doesn't mean at all, that you get to mock people for lov-- loving each other, for Merle being a _father_ \--"

"I didn't mean--" Davenport starts desperately, but Lup keeps going, angry tears welling up in her eyes. Lup's always been an angry crier, and she's always hated it.

"I was s-- stuck, in the-- in my, and I couldn't talk, I couldn't see, time didn't matter, I was so alone, there was nobody for me to love-- And I thought I was going insane, when Taako picked me. Up. Because. H-- how could he have possibly found me? But he _did._ If you'd reset the cycle on the Starblaster, nothing would've changed for me. I didn't get to love, to know, to meet, a single person. Is that good?" Lup wipes angry tears out of her eye with the back of her hand, still scowling. "Are you happy because that happened, instead of me being an idiot like Magnus who _found true fucking love_?" 

"Lup," Davenport whispers, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking, I didn't. I. I'm sorry."

Lucretia hugs Lup gently. She wants to do more but there's nothing she can do anymore. Lucretia feels like she hasn't been able to help anybody for about thirty years now.

Barry walks back in a couple minutes later, with a glass of water. "Hey," he says, "Sorry about that, I just realized I was getting really worked up and needed a quick walk." He takes in the scene and frowns. He gives Lup his glass of water and pats Davenport awkwardly on the back. "What happened?" 

"Nothing." Lucretia tells him. Davenport's right, and Lup's right, and Barry's right. They're all right and they cancel out, leaving Lucretia with two empty hands and a head full of regrets.

"No, 'Cretia," starts Lup, but Lucretia's walking out and she makes it all the way home before she realizes she's left her journal on the floor of Lucas Miller's lab, and then she makes a vow to stop journaling, to stop miring herself down in the past because if she keeps living like this, it'll kill her.

 

 

There's a beep on her stone of far speech. Lucretia sits in the dark at her kitchen table and watches it, until someone leaves a message.

"Hey, it's Leon. Was wondering if you've heard from Carey lately? Call me back. Oh, also, I wanted to talk to you about the matter of possible extra compensation for harassment? Thanks."

Lucretia pulls the stone close and taps it. "I talked to Carey yesterday. Harassment pay?" 

"Oh my fucking God." Leon says. "Did I not tell you about Taako? How did I not tell you? You won't believe this, I hope you're taking notes, I suffered unimaginable abuse at the hands of that weasel." 

Forty-five minutes later, Lucretia interrupts Leon with her most serious voice. "Oh dear. I can't believe this went unnoticed. You know that the Bureau of Balance had a very strict no-tolerance policy. I'll have to look further into this. Unfortunately, there is no way for me to compensate you further, as the place of employment you were both at during the time no longer exists. I'm terribly sorry Leon." 

She hangs up. She bursts into laughter like she hasn't let herself enjoy in years.

 

 

Sometimes, quite often in fact, Lucretia realizes that she has stopped moving. She'll be making her bed, thinking about how she needs to get that last corner, and then blinks back to the realization that she has just been standing there and thinking about making the bed. Sometimes she has to trick herself into getting out of bed. She'll threaten herself with starvation. With death. If you don't get out of the shower, right this second, the water will be burning hot and it'll tear all of your skin off. If you don't water the plants you'll die with no other living creature around. Every time she stops moving it's harder to get going again. And Lucretia feels like she's getting old. When she sits down she wants to stay there. When she's in she thinks about the logistics of not going outside ever again. Moving feels like a lot of effort. And feeding herself. And sleeping is a lot of effort because you have to emotionally brace yourself for the possibility of waking up in the morning.

It's not like Lucretia doesn't know what's happening to her. She's read lots of pamphlets about depression. It's just that she's not depressed. Depression is described as feeling hopeless and worn down. It's described as not seeing the point in doing things. What Lucretia feels isn't like that at all. She's quite comfortably actually. She's very content with living like she's living until she dies.

Maybe that's the problem.

 

 

What Carey and Killian are up to is maybe something that Lucretia has been turning a bit of a blind eye towards. When Carey says she's been dealing a lot in "pre-owned items," Lucretia decides to believe that she goes to a lot of thrift stores. Carey casually mentioning this "insane security system," only means that she's worried about the well being of her neighbours beloved material objects. When Killian mentions that the "pigs are catching on," Lucretia thinks that, obviously, the couple have been spending a lot of time near unusually smart livestock. And when Killian says it's like "dating Robin Hood," well, obviously, Carey has picked up archery. Anything other then that would be ridiculous. 

The two of them joined an adventuring guild and moved in together, and their walls are covered in maps and plans, while the floor is just strewn with items and clothes and dirty dishes. Their place looks lived in, homey, and like a couple of evil masterminds have made it their lair. Whenever Lucretia catches up with them, it seems like they're either just departing on or returning from a grand excursion of some sort.

Killian's pulled out a neighbourhood map of a pretty rich district, with several houses marked with a red X, which Lucretia decides is a mark to help her locate her friend's houses later, and definitely nothing more sinister then that, and Lucretia's about to ask her if she and Carey have got in touch with Leon about whatever that recent call was about, when Carey turns and takes Lucretia's hands in her own scaly ones. 

Carey looks searchingly up at Lucretia and nods once, firmly, like she's making a decision. 

"Alright, so here's the deal. Killian and I are getting married. We'd really like it if you'd officiate the wedding." 

Lucretia feels her eyes widen. She tries to answer and ends up saying something like, "Hrrgh?"

Carey laughs and takes a step back, her tail swishing nervously. "Yeah, we-- Neither of us follow a God, and you've really done a lot for us, and I know it's a lot to ask but you could definitely do a good fuckin' job, so?"

Lucretia stares at her. The two of them have been together for so long, and she knew they loved each other, but for some reason the word 'marriage,' hadn't crossed her mind and there's something so sweet about the sound of it. There's something incredible about the promise it secures.

From the table, Killian grunts. "C'mon, Madame. We arm-wrestled to see who would have to ask, because we _knew_ you'd get that scary-surprised face." 

"Of course I will," Lucretia says. Her voice is shakier then she'd like it to be. She's so happy for her friends, for her family. It's not like she didn't think that they were serious about each other. The way that Killian's always got an eye on Carey, wherever they are. How Carey wears old baggy sweaters of Killian's, even when her scales get caught in the threads. It feels miraculous that both of them survived the battle. Lucretia's been to so many worlds, and met so many people on so many cycles, but so few of those people have survived. So few of them lived through the terrible gluttony of the Hunger. 

"Are you okay?" Carey asks.

"I'm just so," Lucretia starts, and then giggles, stands up and high-fives a startled Killian, "So proud of you, finally getting your shit together. Who proposed? I bet both of you have been thinking about it for _years_ and then you tried to ask each other at the same time. Am I right?"

Killian blushes bright scarlet and Lucretia crows, "Am I right? Am I _right?_ "

Carey says, "We changed our mind, we don't want you anymore. We'll ask Merle," and then she pulls everybody back into another hug and she's crying a little bit, just the smallest amount, and she chokes out into Killian's arm, "It's just that I thought one of us would die, I was just so fucking certain that one of us would die."

NO-3LL3 insists on organizing everything. She missed her calling as a wedding planner, because her brutal efficiency and her no-corners-cut attitude gets things done scarily fast. Lucretia tries to help but is repeatedly run off, because "you always try to do everything," whatever that means, and eventually NO-3LL3 compromises and puts her in charge of mailing out the invitations.

Instead of the ceremony being in a church with one of them waiting at the alter and one of them coming down the aisle, Carey and Killian rent out Chaos Stadium and approach the officiate, Lucretia, by crashing through opposite ends of the ring and physically fighting each other for the bouquet.

The attendees are mostly former BoB employees, plus family. Amongst them Lucretia recognizes Jeremy "Scales," Fangbattle (Carey's brother), and his wife, Hathaway Redcheek-Fangbattle, who cheer Carey on in the fight for the bouquet with a bloodlust that is-- quite frankly-- deeply alarming.

"We are gathered here today," Lucretia starts, and then her mind goes completely blank of her prepared remarks, "To celebrate two best friends who intend to be best friends for the rest of their lives, but who have also discovered the joy of kissing."

Yes. Nailed it. 

"These two incredibly brave and devoted women have gone through the worst of times together. There have been unimaginably bad days, and months, and unless you have also lived through the things they have, you do not have an understanding of the seriousness and purity of the love they have for each other that let them come through it. Theirs is a love that was snuck through moments of great trial, furtively treasured between periods of strain. 

"And now, it is brought into the light. Because they made it. Because we won. And now we live in a world where it is possible to say to somebody, 'I want to be with you until we are both elderly and neither of us can walk anymore.' Due to Carey and Killian's perseverance, adoration for one another, incredible communication skills, and desire to _make it work_ , they have made it to this point in their lives. This shining moment, emblematical of their commitment. 

"We are all incredibly lucky to know Carey and Killian, and they are incredibly lucky to know each other. But there is not just luck that backs up their partnership. Their romance is true and wonderful because it is something they have dug their hands into and refused to let go. Both of these women deserve somebody who will cherish them like they deserve, so it is quite fitting they're marrying one another.

"Marriage is a partnership, where you must have your team member's back through the up and the down, through the good and the bad. Carey. Do you pledge to spend your life with Killian? To speak the truth to her, to uplift and support her?" 

Lucretia looks at Carey, and Killian looks at Carey, and all the guests are looking at Carey, and a literal stadium spotlight is beaming down on Carey, but the only person Carey's looking at is Killian. With her knees knocking into each other. With total commitment and love in her eyes. 

"I-- I do. Of course I do."

"And do you, Killian, pledge to spend your life with Carey? To speak the truth to her, to uplift and support her?"

Lucretia looks at Killian, and Carey's still staring at Killian like she's a lifeline, and the guests, quite a few of who are crying now, all look at Killian, and the spotlight grinds over to Killian, but Killian hasn't looked away from her fiancé since half the bridal bouquet was ripped out of her hands. 

"Every day of my goddamn life."

Angus steps up from his unobtrusive perch on the ropes and gently holds up the rings. He starts helping Carey to put hers on, then turns to Killian and does the same before stepping back. "May these rings represent the bond you have with one another, and the beautiful life you will forge together. Go now, in joy and peace. May your days be golden and your night skies be clear. I now pronounce you partners for life. The brides may kiss." 

Lucretia steps back, brimming with pride and love and astonishment that this can happen, that this is happening, that it's allowed to be and nobody is stopping it.

Killian reaches out for Carey and touches her on the arm, gently, softly, and she looks like she's full of stars. Looks like she's seeing the moon for the first time in her life. And then Carey hurls herself into Killian's arms, and Killian barely catches her, and Carey's locked her hands behind Killian's head, only held aloft by Killian's grip on her lower back, and they're kissing, and someone in the audience that sounds a lot like Magnus Burnside is wolf whistling, and there's noise-laughter-delight, _happiness_.

 

 

Taako and Kravitz show up at Lucretia's house one day, unannounced. Lucretia opens her door and the Grim Reaper is standing on her stoop. She maybe screams a little bit?

"Christ." Kravitz says, flickering into human form from skeleton, "Taako, why didn't you--"

"--Because it's hilarious." Taako interrupts. "Can we come in?" He shoulders his way into the house, and Kravitz rolls his eyes.

Lucretia trails after Taako, shooting a disappointed look at Kravitz, who looks supremely embarrassed. She watches him head through her home, noticing how he throws off his bravado like a cloak at the door and turns into a slinking wraith between one step and the next. When he pauses at the kitchen door to see if Kravitz and Lucretia are following him, the only point of contact between the wall and his body is the hand he's leaning on, and then he grins wolfishly and ducks under his arm out of the hall, the line of his back and his legs all falling into shape together. 

"I didn't make him come." Kravitz whispers, looking seriously at Lucretia. "I want you to know. This was his idea. I'm not sure what he wants, but--"

"I know." Lucretia tells him. "Come on. Do you want tea? I think I still have coffee."

When she leads him into the kitchen, Lucretia sees Taako sitting cross-legged on top of her counter. He's letting his eyes wander, looking amused and pleased at what he sees. Lucretia doesn't know what's funny to him. It's a small kitchen, she doesn't really cook, so there's the counter curved into one wall, the cabinets above it an unassumingly green, and the round table where she eats. The floor is clean, her dishes are washed, and so-- Lucretia could kick herself. The trashcan. Taako's seeing the papers, crumpled, each with a different date and little more then that; so many of them that there are a few of them on the ground. 

Lucretia levels a look at him, refusing to be embarrassed, and casts create water to start filling the kettle. She pulls open her fridge and fetches a half-empty can of Pringles. 

"Tasty." Taako smiles.

"Robbie was here earlier. It's all I've got left. Come down from there." 

Taako drops to the ground and into one of the wooden chairs next to Kravitz, and presses the rumples carefully out of his skirt. "You talk to Robbie? Or, I guess, Robbie still talks to you?"

"Forgiveness is a process." Lucretia pulls out three cups, and puts the teabags into them before pouring the water carefully and setting them on the kitchen table to steep. She takes a seat herself, steels herself mentally, and folds her hands on the table. "Taako. Kravitz. I'm glad you came. I'd been giving you space, so it's nice that you're here. I will do my best to answer any questions and defend my choices." 

"Kravitz is only here 'cause he's my ride. You wanna take off 'n boomerang back to this joint in ten to twelve, no, I mean twenty, that's the number, minutes?"

Kravitz hesitates, and then nods. He slashes a black line that looks like it's made of ink into the wall, picks up his teacup, and then steps through the rift. The portal closes behind him and there's a silence, quickly broken by Taako obnoxiously slurping his tea. Lucretia, who knows damn well that Taako mastered drinking from a cup long ago, reminds herself that they aren't close enough for her to hit him anymore. 

"I didn't come earlier because I figured I'd disintegrate you before you opened your mouth. And then, to be 100% real with you? It was because I've got a busy life, and I totally forgot I was gonna dramatically confront you about everything. It's like, I had a post-it on my fridge. _Confront Lucretia!_ And I'd read it when I got up every day, but I get up at a solid eleven-ish, and then there are the insane transit travel times, so I'd be like, tomorrow! God! Revenge tomorrow! So I forgot about the whole thing until the Sweet Flips wedding."

"Ah. I see. Well--" 

"--What you need to understand is that I am still _indescribably_ furious. I don't think you even understand what you did to me. My whole life I've been with Lup, which means. Ugh. It means only ever solving half of problems 'cause I'd know she'd get the other half of it, right? It means I grew up ripping opportunities out of her hands so she'd be stuck with me. With Lup around all the time, it was like we _levelled up_ past sibling, 'cause after a point I stopped being annoyed when she snapped gum, which for me is a _huge deal_ , because Lup snaps gum like it's her _job_. What we were to each other wasn't just, 'oh hey, this person I like,' it was more on the level of me being a Fed-Ex driver and her being a Volleyball. Got it?"

"You had me right up until that last thing. I knew all that stuff already though. Taako, I never meant to separate you and Lup. If she hadn't gone missing, I would've sent you away together. You must've known that."

"I didn't. Use your words next time. And you're not understanding. You're saying you do, which is what people say when they hear your words and want you to stop talking, before they _actually_ understand and it makes them feel bad. You always _do_ this Lucretia. Look at you! With your hands folded like that! What is this? Am I a student and you're the fucking Principal? Have I been expelled, Madame Director?"

"Taako--"

"No, listen. Fucking listen to me. I hate you. Listen to that back again. I hate you. It's not that I don't, theoretically, get why you thought you had to do what you did, but I can't justify any part of it. I would rather be dead then forget Lup again. Next time, just kill me."

"There won't be a next time." 

"You know what I'm telling you."

"I'm sorry." 

"Yeah yeah, I know you are."

"What I did, I did because you couldn't take the strain of what we had already done."

"Maybe, as a therapy thing, it would help me if you actually said out loud what it was that you did. Could'ja spell it out for me?"

"What I-- I--" 

"Mhmm-hmm. You can do it." 

"I took away everyone's memories of our travels on the Starblaster, and our involvement with the Hunger and the Grand Relics, because you all felt so guilty and awful about it that none of you could sleep. None of you could eat, Taako, I would lie in my bunk and hear Davenport dry-heaving in the bathroom. And it was like living with zombies, because nobody could get themselves out of the rut. You would avoid the news because every time you heard about anything going bad-- Even slightly bad, even if it wasn’t related to anything we did-- everyone watching the show would. Would flinch, if eyes could flinch. And no one was able to do anything. It was like watching people in purgatory." 

Taako starts clapping. He jumps to his feet, and for some reason he's beaming. He pours his tea out in the sink, and when he turns toward the table again, there's a sly but playful smirk dancing across his face. 

"Lucretia," he says, "What was the last meal you had?" 

She stares at him. She's sure her face must look idiotic. "What? Taako, I fail to see how this even remotely--"

"Ah-ah! C'mon homegirl, what was it?" 

"I have no idea. Rice crackers, maybe? With peanut butter spread to the edges." 

"Brilliant. Fucking fantastic. Actually, revision, as a chef I am horrified. But as your friend I am delighted. And you've been sleeping well lately? I assume?"

"Quite terribly, actually."

"And been keeping up with everyone? Up to date on the gossip, on the sweet-sweet juicy details of everyone? Or, to take words from your very articulate mouth, have you been watching the news?"

Lucretia stares at him. He twinkles back. Manic, but with enough genuine pleasure to keep him from looking psychotic. The more she thinks about it, she's been avoiding everyone. They're the ones who've been contacting her, but she's been sleeping just fine, she's been-- But that isn't true. And she hasn't been eating. Guilt has consumed her and held her hostage, and the parallels between her behaviour and the later days of the IPRE crew-- now that Taako points them out-- are getting more and more obvious.

"So do you want me to take this away from you?" Taako asks. He stalks toward her. He's somehow got his hands on her wand, and he gets close enough that he can bonk it gently against her temple. Lucretia feels her heartbeat in her wrists. 

"Do it," she says.

"You want me to kill you? You want me to take away your memories?"

"Either. Both."

The wand digs closer and more painfully into her head, and then Taako yanks it up suddenly. It tears out a few grey hairs. She watches him, coiled and furious and absolutely more then capable of outright annihilating her, and under her gaze Taako seems to flourish. He always loved attention.

Then he crosses his arms with a wide looping theatrical motion, tucking her wand up his opposite sleeve, and says, "Well too fucking bad for you." 

Lucretia opens and closes her mouth. It feels dry. She can't talk. She tries to stand but her legs are shaking so badly that she can't do that either.

"Too bad." Taako repeats, and then he's laughing. Doubled over in Lucretia's tiny depressing kitchen. "I'm a better person then you. This proves, definitively, that I am a better person then you. Fuck. If only someone was here to be a witness to my undying generosity and grace." 

He reaches out a hand and helps Lucretia up. Gives her wand back, with a mocking little bow.

It takes a few too-fast heartbeats for Lucretia to collect her thoughts. "Did you string me along like this so that I would feel like. So that I would feel like you did? Did-- From the start? Since the hill, at the end of the battle?"

Taako does not look like he belongs in Lucretia's house. He's too flashy for it. Too angry for it. He's a bigger person then the floor plan would like, and so it seems like he's constantly about to hit an elbow or a shin on some corner of the room that's creeping in on him. And he's too bright. Not bright, like Lup, who's quality of light is warm, but bright enough that sometimes he hurts to look at. But in a place like this there is no other place to look.

"What can I say? Forgiveness is a process."

They go outside. Lucretia doesn't feel like she belongs in her house either. She shows Taako her flowers, and for some reason he lets her. And then they sit in silence with one another, watching the wind dance little grass blades into the sky. Kravitz finds them a few minutes after that, and he gives back his teacup. Lucretia holds it in her hands and it feels tiny and delicate.

Taako stretches and yawns, and then turns to Lucretia. "I don't hate you," he says. "Anymore, anyway. And I'm gonna come back to your ugly house this time next week, and I'll bring you the most delicious orange bitters crème caramel that you've ever seen in your goddamn life. And you should write the book. You should."

 

 

A few weeks later Lucretia and Merle are lying on the beach at night. The moon is full and round, and the waves at their highest point merely tickle the lower half of Lucretia's legs. There's a sandcastle, built by Angus, Mavis, and Mookie, slowly being eroded away just a few feet to Lucretia's right. Magnus took the kids to bed already, and most likely fell asleep after reading them the goodnight story that Angus is too proud to ask for, but still likes. It's calm and just the slightest bit windy. The sand is just the right amount of cool against Lucretia's back, and she's half-asleep when she hears it. Merle, exclaiming, like it was started out of him.

"ZONE OF TRUTH!"

**Author's Note:**

> there you go. bittersweet, i think? love you all.


End file.
